Dear Diary…Dear Ladies…Dear Gentlemen,

This is an introduction to me, my musings and my unique brand of political ire. The Revolutionary, that’s me! I’ll show you how it’s done, like Russell Brand, similarly lacking the inherent irony of it all. A mouthpiece to the disaffected and confused to further disaffect and confuse the system…yeah?

So then, Ladies, Gentlemen, we’ve just voted, haven’t we? Red or Green, I hear you say? Nay a veritable melange, a sort of purple. One of each! Labour for MP? Of course I have; Red Ed, Red Balls and all the others with that red political leaning of theirs.

Now the results have not gone our way, yet, but let me be the first to say I believe we were royally stitched.

Tory majority!? Give over! How could that be?

Everyone I know voted for the worker’s party, the labourers and unemployed alike, I bet everyone you know did too. So who voted for Blue Balls? No one that’s who.

Ask yourself and ask yourself quietly, why do they make us vote in pencil, aaay? I bet that rubber purchases skyrocket just before elections. Thousands of pounds erroneously disappearing from the treasury during the electoral run up. Osborne and Cameron hitting the Staedtler & Ryman shares hard. Stranger things have happened. Think about it!

Democracy, yeah? More like… not-democracy, am I right?

I don’t care that there was a Tory majority, because I have proven to you that something went wrong, in my opinion. I have also shown you that if all my mates voted for Labour…who didn’t? So, I say we riot. I say we riot, because I care! I say we park outside Downing Street and insist on a recount and re-vote. Democracy doesn’t work, evidently, because if I voted that way and my Facebook and Twitter did too, who didn’t? So I’m going to continue you shouting! Continuing posting pieces from news sources of my choosing and continue to ignore the fact that I voted for a system that would have seen UKIP gain all the seats.

People often say to me: “Rupert!* You’re an empathetic guy.”

To which my reply is: “Obviously! I vote labour. They’re my credentials.”

It’s the politics of care. It’s the politics of empathy and not landing the other in it, but it gets to a point where you pick up tricks from your totalitarian overlords. Like the Israelis have from their time with the Germans. It’s the point when you’re tainted and they’ve basically won.

I say we:

  • Take away their bedrooms!
  • Lock the stationary cupboard and hide the rubbers
  • Enforce suicide on workers of private healthcare organisations…disrupt the situation
  • Bomb the stationary companies
  • Rob banks
  • Cripple their kids and take away their benefits
  • Generally make them feel subhuman

So then revolutionaries, will you join me?